Who can you trust?

It can be a tough thing to pursue a big dream.  There's always risk involved: risk of giving up a typical career, risk of looking silly when your dream doesn't work out, risk of dying alone and destitute when society shuns you for your unappreciated perspective.

We're social creatures.  In every aspect of our lives, in one way or another, we crave validation.  We want to feel like what we think and do is normal, or okay, or appreciated, or innovative.  As much as we might like to think that we are each individual islands, we all need some kind of recognition.  Where we go for this validation has a big impact on who we become.

You Can't Please Everyone
Some people require validation from the masses.  Some people are only comfortable when a majority of their acquaintances approve of their choices. Remember, though, that appealing to the largest group is how we got Jersey Shore, American Idol and
the US political system. I'm just saying... (And Ricky Nelson is saying it too...)

No, really.  You CAN'T Please Everyone
Yesterday I was in Las Vegas for business.  After my appointments I drove over to the strip to do the wide-eyed tourist thing.  As I walked among the crowds and the elaborate stucco facades, I saw a couple of guys creeping along in traffic in a yellow Lamborghini.  A Gallardo Spyder.   It was probably the coolest car I've ever seen in actual, analog, physical life. I was thinking about how cool it was to see one driving by, when I heard all the people around me talking about how lame the guy driving it was.  Moral of the story: people resent you when you get what you want.

Let's look at this a little deeper.  When talking about living your dreams and doing the things that you REALLY want to do, you may be surprised at how many people are UNsupportive of you.  When day dreaming out loud, I've been amazed at how quickly people will bring up health insurance, uncertainty, long work hours, retirement plans, support of a large corporation, blah, blah, blah.  It makes me wonder: are they trying to talk me out of MY dream, or talk THEMSELVES out of THEIRS?

The Great and Powerful Oz
It may seem reasonable to trust a person whose job it is to offer advice.  Guidance counselors ought to be able to guide you, wouldn't you think?  But then again, do you want your guidance counselor's job?  Is that really a person who is qualified to tell you how to get what you want out of life?  How about authors or professional speakers?  Of all those people offering to coach you on how to start the business of your dreams, how many of them have ever started a successful business?


The Only People Who Can Help You
People that you can trust to advise you when making big career choices are unfortunately as rare as they are valuable.  I have a short list of people that I can trust enough to share my plans and goals.  The criteria to be on the list is pretty simple.  These people have shown resolve in rejecting the status quo, they stay positive, and they live according to their own goals.  Do you know anyone like that?  I wish I knew more. (Does this describe you?  Send me a note.  Let's go do lunch.)

Strength by Association
As I said before, we are social creatures and we need to feel validated.  We ought to be associating with these trustable people as frequently as practical.  To have the courage to live the life that we truly want to have, we should be valuing their opinions above the opinions of those that only want to drag us down.

Have you received any validation from a valued advisor?  Join the discussion in the comments!